False Labor

I had never heard of false labor until recently.  I thought you were either in labor or not.  Yeah, I was wrong.  There's a lot to think about when you're waiting for your Sea Monkey to arrive.  You've got Braxton Hicks contractions, real labor and now I come to find out, this nasty thing called "false labor".  Basically, false labor is when you think it's the real thing and then come to find out it's not.  Take yesterday as an example ....

Starting at 9:30 in the morning, I was feeling contractions.  Nothing crazy but I could tell my body was gearing up for something.  They came pretty regularly every hour and I was starting to get a little excited.  Around 7:00 at night, they got closer together - about every 40 minutes or so.  I got even more excited because they got closer together.  But of course, as soon as I went to bed .... BAM!  They stopped.  Nothing.  Not even a tiny little twinge of a contraction.  What the heck?  It's really not fair.  Especially since this has been happening to me for the past several days. 

I talked to my doctor about it and she smiled and sympathized with me.  I told her how everyone keeps telling me that "you'll know when it's real".  But will I?  I've thought it was "real" so many times already ... just to get a little excited and then shot down when everything comes to a screeching halt.  It's very frustrating.  But my doctor assured me that yes, I'll just "know" when it's the real thing.  She said if I was trying to figure out if it was real or not, it's not real. 

So I guess I need to be patient.  (Not one of the qualities I'd use to describe myself) ... Just like I don't know how to relax, patience is something I struggle with.  What in the heck is Sea Monkey waiting for?  Everything's ready for him.  His room is all set up, we have literally everything we need for him, his clothes are washed, the car seat is installed, my hospital bag is packed, Grammy & Pop (my parents) are in town .... We are all waiting for you little guy!  I feel like I'm all dressed up for a party but have nowhere to go.  But we all continue to wait.

Even Mike is getting a little impatient.  When I was at my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, I texted him from the waiting room to see if he had any questions for the doctor.  His reply was, "Ask her what's taking so long."  LOL!  Yeah, like she's gonna know why Sea Monkey refuses to be born.  Any serious questions honey?  No ....

As usual, the nurse took me into the exam room - took my weight, and blood pressure.  She never told me what the blood pressure was because it's always perfect (of course, I mean look whose blood pressure you're taking!)  She asked if everything was going ok or if I had concerns.  I told her I just had the normal complaints but nothing was really "wrong".  A few minutes (more like 15, but I really don't mind because I love my doctor) Dr. Mahoney came in.  Here's how our conversation went:

She took one look at me and said, "What's wrong?" 
Me: "I'm still pregnant".
Dr. Mahoney: "Yeah, but you look more upset than usual."
Me:  "I'm still pregnant". 
Dr. Mahoney: (laughed)
Me:  "How can we change that?"
Dr. Mahoney: (laughed again)

Basically she still can't do much for me until I'm 39 weeks (which happens Sunday the 28th, but whose counting?).  She said she'd do an exam and check to see if I was dilated. YAY! I'm dilated 1 centimeter (the visual comparison most commonly used is a cheerio).  While she was doing the exam, she also "stripped my membranes".  Sounds fun, right?  Basically what she did was separate the bag of water from my uterus.  Supposedly it releases a hormone that helps labor get started.  Yeah, so far it's done nothing for me but give me false hope that something was happening.  We talked a lot - Basically what came out of the appointment was that if Sea Monkey isn't born before next Monday, we'll check dilation again and discuss induction. 

If I've made a decent amount of progress in the dilation department, she will induce me.  If I haven't, she said we can still move forward with induction, but that I have to get all these other drugs first that will soften / shorten the cervix and help me dilate.  It could take a few days.  I'm thinking sitting around the hospital for a few days waiting for my cervix to do something doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun.  I think I'll pass on that part.

So we continue to wait .... and wait .... I'm trying to not get too excited about contractions when I feel them, but it's hard.  I want Sea Monkey to come out!  Not only because I want my body back, but we are all anxious to meet the little guy. 

We never know what each day will bring .... and each day I hope "this is the day" he will be born.  So I'll get back to work and try to distract myself and not watch the clock waiting to feel a contraction.  Hopefully (probably just wishful thinking) this is my last post before we get the party started.  If not, I'll be updating you after my doctor's appointment on Monday morning. 

The waiting game continues

The waiting game continues .... Sea Monkey is turning out to be a stubborn little bugger.  Hmmmm I wonder where he gets that from?  It can't possibly be *me*! 

It feels like I've tried just about everything to get this little guy to want to be born, and nothing seems to be working.  Don't you dare tell me "he'll come when he's ready"....

Saturday I went for an acupuncture treatment.  It was definitely interesting but I don't think it did anything.  I'm not even sure how to describe the experience, but I'll try.  I arrived on time, and waited.  Almost 15 minutes.  I'm fat, it was 1,000 degrees out and I'm very impatient.  So the waiting thing kind of irked me, especially since I was the only one there.  When she finally took me, we sat in her office and she asked me a bunch of questions about the pregnancy and my due date.  Then, she took me to the room where she'd perform the acupuncture.  There's a small table - like a massage table and thankfully a little stool to help me get up there.  It wasn't pretty, but I was able to finally plop myself on the table and lay on my side.  She proceeded to put 2 needles in my right arm / hand, one in my left, one on my forehead and one on each of my ankles.  These were supposed to "relax" me.  Well, if you know me even just a tiny bit, you know the word "relax" is not really in my vocabulary.  I tried, I really did.  But I also have some strange lady poking me with needles.  Kind of hard to relax!  Although I have to admit the needles didn't really hurt.  There were a few that pinched on the way in, but once they were there, I didn't feel anything.  I digress .... I laid on that table for about 10 minutes with the needles in trying to relax.  She came back in, took them out and then had me move positions to lay on my stomach.  Thankfully her table has a section that you can pop out so your big huge pregnant belly has somewhere to go.  I'm not sure how long it took, but she ended up putting 33 needles in my back!  Again, it didn't really hurt and I'm really glad I couldn't see it or I think I may have freaked out.  She told me what each needle did and why she was placing it there.  When she was done, I laid there for a while ... I guess to let the needles do their magic.  She returned and took them all out and I was on my way.  (I probably should have written about this Saturday when I got home because I'm sure I'm missing some great stuff).  It's now Tuesday and I honestly don't think it did anything.  Maybe I need more "treatments" - she said I could come back on Wednesday or Thursday if I wanted to ... but I don't think I want to. 

For the rest of the weekend, I tried to eat some spicy food, and I really counted on the full moon last night to do something for me.  FAIL, FAIL, FAIL.  Although Sunday & Monday I did have some pretty good contractions.  But as soon as I went to bed, they stopped.  I know I'm only 38 weeks, 2 days .... but I just want to get this show on the road!

Yesterday I washed all of Sea Monkey's laundry.  It's folded and put away now ... with the exception of the crib sheets.  I just threw them into the crib because I have no idea how to fold the darn things. 

My parents have made their way "north" from Florida.  They're currently camped out (not literally - could you imagine my mom in a tent?!) in the Berkshires with my Aunt Mary & Uncle Jimmy.  It's nice to know they're only about 2 hours away in case our stubborn little Sea Monkey decides he wants to make landfall.  Tomorrow, they can check into their furnished apartment which is just about 40 minutes away.  Maybe Sea Monkey is waiting until all things are in place?  Who knows what this little guy has on his mind. 

Speaking of Sea Monkey - he's been pretty quiet for the most part.  I'm very curious as to how big he is at this point.  Not so much because I'm scared to deliver him, but I'm wondering how squished he really is in there.  His movements hurt at this point so I'm not really complaining that he's been quiet, although I do sometimes still get nervous something might be wrong.  A good poke or prod usually wakes him up and I feel a little better. 

I've got 4 days left of work (unless Sea Monkey decides to make an appearance) and I have just a few things to finish up.  Of course, even though I've been asking people for WEEKS if they need anything, I'm getting flooded with last minute report requests. 

Well that's pretty much it.  All my efforts to make Sea Monkey appear have failed and I suppose I'm forced to continue to wait it out.  I keep getting the "he will come when he's ready" comment from almost everyone I talk to.  And yes, it continues to be the most annoying thing you can say to me at this point.

Eggplant Parm!

What does eggplant parm have to do with Sea Monkey?  Well right now, EVERYTHING!  There's a restaurant in Georgia that claims their eggplant parm recipe can put pregnant women into labor within 48 hours of eating the dish.  (Thank you Kathy for telling me about this!)  Of course, I got the recipe from their website (www.scalinis.com) and Mike very graciously cooked it for me tonight.  The recipe was VERY involved - Mike even had to make the sauce!  I took photos throughout the whole process so naturally I have to share them with all of you.

(WARNING: photo overload!)

Ingredients:  There was a ton of stuff to put in this recipe!  I had to take 3 pictures to fit them all in!

Prepping the eggplant to be cooked .... 

Cooking the eggplant!  Yes, I'm a total geek and took photos of everything.

Homemade sauce!  It came out a little watery and definitely could have been thicker, but it was still tasty!

Almost ready for the oven!

Ready to eat!

And here we go! (GOD I look awful....)

We just finished eating and the waiting game begins.  If I go into labor by 9:00 pm on Tuesday night, I will give credit to the eggplant!  I can't believe how hard Mike worked on this.  He is far too good to me - especially with all the complaining and moaning and groaning I've been doing.  My husband is a saint!

In other news .... well, honestly not much.  Aside from remaining in pain and not being able to sleep, things are pretty quiet.  I think Mike is walking on eggshells around me - and I totally don't blame him one bit.  Other than that, it's pretty much a waiting game at this point.  We are totally ready - the last thing we needed to get done (carseat installation inspected) got done Saturday night.  Just one minor adjustment and it's installed perfectly and ready for Sea Monkey!

So now we wait.  Officially, there's exactly 3 weeks until my due date.  I've got a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and I'm hoping she will check to see if I'm dilated at all.  Not because it's a pleasant experience, but I'm curious to see if anything is going on down there.  If it is, we'll likely induce the week of July 29th .... so I guess I'm just looking for confirmation that we could be looking forward to a July birthday instead of August.  Although I know my dad is secretly hoping for Sea Monkey to arrive on 8/1 (my grandmother's birthday).

And so we wait ....

Thoughts at 36 Weeks

I've been a relatively bad blogger lately.  Unfortunately, things are not very exciting at the moment, and I've been terrible company.  I'm at the point (36 weeks, 5 days) where I cannot wait to be done with pregnancy.  Why anyone would do this more than once is beyond anything I can comprehend.  And that woman on TV who has 19 kids?  She needs to be committed.

Sea Monkey is still groovin' around in there.  Although lately, I feel him move less and less.  Probably because he's putting on some chub (he's the size of a watermelon!) and has less room to move around.  However, when I do feel him move, it typically hurts and results with me yelping in pain and grabbing my belly. 

Things I'm tired of hearing:
Myself moaning and groaning
I'm sure Mike is sick of this too.  Why does it make you feel better to make noises when you're in pain?  Unfortunately, this happens to me a lot - pretty much whenever I move.  It's annoying.

"He will come when he's ready".  
Well GET ready, dammit.  I can only take so much of this.  And yes, I know he will be born when he's ready.  That's the natural progression of things.  But can't I want him to come now?  

"You look so uncomfortable." 
Yes, I do.  And yes, I am uncomfortable.  You pointing that out to me makes everything so much better. (typically when I'm out shopping or doing errands, at least 1 person will say this to me.)

"How are you feeling?"
In theory, this is a very nice questions.  But when at least 50 people a day ask it, and you feel like shit, it gets annoying.  And do people really want to know the truth?  No.  But they ask anyway.  So since they do, I pretty much make them feel sorry they've asked by telling them the truth ....

So ... how am I feeling?

Tired - I don't sleep anymore.  At least, not much.  Maybe an hour here or an hour there.  And yes, I know I'll never sleep again like I used to.  That's another thing I'm sick of hearing.  Just because my sleep patterns will be different when I'm up with a newborn doesn't make the fact I'm not sleeping now suck any less.  Why am I up all the time?  Well first of all, there's the fact that I get up to pee at LEAST 5-6 times a night.  Thank you Sea Monkey for having your head directly on top of my bladder.  When I'm not up to pee, I'm trying to get comfortable, which at this point, has become an impossible task.  I'm a back sleeper, at least I used to be.  I definitely can't sleep on my back anymore because #1, I can't breathe when I lay down because my damn belly, I mean, my dear child, has so much weight on my lungs I feel like I'm going to suffocate.  #2, it decreases the blood flow to Sea Monkey and it's bad for him.  Ok, so I'll sleep on my sides, no problem.  But wait!  My hips and pelvis are so screwed up right now, I can't get comfortable on my sides either.  The left is worse than the right - when I lay on my left side, I almost immediately have the worse pain you can imagine in my hip.  Ok, so I turn over to the right.  Usually that gets me through for a little while, but you can only sleep on one side for so long before your shoulder / hip begin to ache.  So .... that leaves what?  Standing up?  If only I were a cow .....

Oh wait, I am.   At least I feel like one.  While I've stopped gaining weight (at least the week between my last 2 appointments I didn't gain anything), my pants and shirts seem to be getting smaller.  I can barely squeeze into my work clothes anymore and seriously feel like a sausage most days.  I can no longer wear my work shoes and am now sporting sneakers with dress pants.  I have 4 shirts that still cover my belly, and I wear one each day at work.  I'm sick of wearing the same 4 things each week.  I can't possibly get any bigger, can I?  And then I do .... and so do my stretch marks.  LOVELY.

So I'm not sleeping, I'm feeling fat, and I'm in a TON of pain.  Jeez, people make it look so easy to be pregnant.  They're all liars.  It's not easy - it hurts.  It hurts my back, my feet, my pelvis, my hips.  I swear when I try to walk, or get dressed or get in / out of the bathtub, I feel like my legs are being pulled apart like a wishbone and I'm just going to snap!  My feet hurt, even when I've done nothing but sit around all day.

This is why I haven't written lately.  I'm a mess.  I'm horribly unhappy with 22 days until my official due date, and 16 days until the week my doctor says she will induce me (maybe).  I know, Sea Monkey will come when he's ready. But I want him to be ready now!  I feel useless - I can hardly do anything anymore, and poor Mike must want to go on a long vacation until Sea Monkey is born.  I can't imagine how he deals with me on a day to day basis.  I don't even like being near myself .... He's a saint. 

So, on Sunday, July 14th, I'll officially be 37 weeks.  That means I can start trying all the old wives tales to induce labor naturally.  I've done a bit of reading about these things and there's all sorts of things people suggest from having sex to drinking castor oil.  Neither of which I'm in the mood for right now.  The methods that I've read about that actually get good reviews & outcomes are Acupressure & Acupuncture.  I've found an acupuncturist that will see me to try and induce labor - I just need to make an appointment.  I've played around with acupressure - there's a few pressure points you can stimulate that supposedly starts contractions.  The only one I can reach is on my hand, and the few times I've pressed it, nothing happens.  My whole pregnancy I've been convinced Sea Monkey would come around 2 weeks early.  That means he should be making his appearance around July 21st - which is entirely still possible because that's when we have the next full moon.  Apparently, during the full moon, changes in gravitational pull can cause women to go into labor (if they're already close to their due date).  I was also advised by several people that there's an eggplant parm recipe that "supposedly" helps you induce labor.  We found the recipe online at www.scalinis.com (Thanks Kathy!).  Mike is planning on making it for me on Sunday.  I don't even like eggplant, but at this point, I'm willing to try anything.

Right now, it's just a waiting game.  I'm desperately hoping Sea Monkey decides very soon that he wants to have his birthday.  I talk to him every day and ask if he wants to come out and meet his mommy & daddy .... sometimes he'll give me a little kick and other times he just ignores me.  I KNOW!  He'll come when he's ready ....




Mike and I are making final preparations for his arrival - we pretty much have everything we need.  Thanks to very generous parents, family, friends, co-workers, and a bit of our own shopping, we really don't need anything else before he gets here.  I've hired a dog walker to be on call to take care of our fur-babies so we don't need to worry about them, car seat bases have been installed (just need to have them inspected), and I only really need to wash his clothes / sheets / blankets .... and I'm not even sure if that really needs to be done.  I mean he's not going to be hurt if I don't get around to it.  Although I'm planning on getting it done this week. 

So that's about it ... (if you've even stuck around to this point) ... Signing off and anxiously awaiting "D-Day".

Dreams

I'd love to go to a dream analyst.  Lately, I've been having some crazy dreams!

Here's just a few of the latest strange dreams:

One night, I dreamt that I had a friend who had a car that could go to outer space.  We were gearing up for a trip and just before we left, I was sitting down.  All of a sudden, Sea Monkey's face started to protrude out of my stomach.  Not like it was popping out, but more like his face was stretching my skin so I could see the outline of his entire face.  Not sure exactly what it means but it was VERY STRANGE.  Even in the dream I thought it was odd.

(This one is probably the funniest)  I dreamt that I gave birth to Sea Monkey, and I was feeding him at night.  But I wasn't breastfeeding, it was from a bottle and there was no formula, it was only water.   Then I was in an elevator with my doctor and we were going to the nursery where all the babies were kept at the hospital to see Sea Monkey.  When they lifted him up in the window to show me so I could take a picture through the glass, Sea Monkey was a dog.  Yup, I dreamt that I gave birth to a puppy.  It looked like a golden retriever puppy.  I already have 2 dogs .... I want a baby to come out of me, not a puppy!

This last one was the scariest -
Again I dreamt that I had just given birth to Sea Monkey.  They put him on my chest and wiped him down, but then immediately the nurses tried to pull him away from me.  They kept telling me that they needed to take him to the nursery to perform some tests.  But I knew that wasn't right because in our childbirth education classes, they told us they can pretty much do everything they need to do right there in the room.  So I was fighting the nurses telling them I wanted to keep him in my room and they couldn't take him.  But they ended up winning, took him away from me and went down the hall towards the nursery.  I was so convinced they were going to steal him from me or switch him with another baby.  I ran down the hall after them!  We ended up in the nursery but then the dream switched to something totally different.  Maybe this one means that my maternal instinct is kicking in, and that I'm already scared to let him out of my sight.  At first I was thinking that while I'm in the hospital I may have him sleep in the nursery for one night - but now I swear he will never leave my side.  If the dream is a premonition I don't want to take any chances!


In other news:
*  It's July.  My due date is 8/4, but Sea Monkey might be born THIS MONTH if we go forward with induction at 39 weeks.  It's very exciting!!
*  I'm increasingly more and more uncomfortable as time goes on - and I'm more emotional too.  Yesterday I cried over preparing meals ahead of time to store in the freezer.  Yes, something totally rational to cry about.
*  Sea Monkey continues to be a busy, busy boy.  He is still heads down and I can feel him flip from side to side.  He kicks a lot less but rolls around A LOT.  Sometimes it hurts.
*  I start weekly doctor appointments this week - every Tuesday.  Hopefully all continues to go well and be fairly uneventful.

In non Sea Monkey related news:
*  We are updating the kitchen - today the guys are coming to do the template for the granite, so I'm working from home until they are done.  I'm actually hoping they are late and it takes a long time so I don't have to go into the office.
*  Next week the granite will be installed - still need to figure out how to unhook the kitchen sink and dishwasher, because I'm not hiring a plumber for something we can probably figure out ourselves.
*  TWO WEEKS from now, we will have air conditioning again!  I'm very excited about this one.  It's been incredibly hot and humid and the fan only does so much.

Well, that's about it for now ...... Can't wait for Sea Monkey's arrival!!