3 Weeks - Jackson and My Belly

Jackson is 3 weeks old today!  Our little peanut is growing and doing very well.  For the most part, he continues to be a great baby.  He has some fussy episodes, but in general he only cries when he's hungry, has a dirty diaper, or when he just wants to be held.  He's getting more and more alert each day and I love it when he looks at us with wide eyes!  He sleeps and eats well, and at our last docotor's appointment he was up to 7 lbs, 2 oz!

It feels like we've had him for so much longer than 3 weeks.  We seem to be adjusting to parenthood well, and aside from the sleepless nights, I think it suits us.  Mike has been a great dad and I think I'm doing alright in my new role as "mommy".

The hardest thing so far for me is adjusting to my new body.  When I was pregnant, it was cute to wear tight shirts and show off my belly.  Now, I just have this flabby pouch and it's certainly not "cute" anymore.  Everyone keeps telling me to relax - I just had a baby.  The weight will come off in time.  It took 9 months to put it on, give yourself at least that time to take it off.  All of these things I know.  It still doesn't change the fact that I'm not happy about it.  I promised my mom I'd let the body image issues I'm having "go".  So Mom, this blog post is the last time I'll talk about it.  But I feel like I need to address it here.

I wasn't under any illusions that when Jackson was born I'd immediately go back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I knew my body would be different, I just didn't realize how different it would be.  Most people don't talk about your recovery post pregnancy.  Once you have the baby, it becomes all about BABY ... but what about mom?  I'm not saying I want to put Jackson second to myself - he always comes first in my world now.  But I think - especially for first time moms - that more people need to talk about the recovery process that will happen with your body.  I just wasn't prepared for some of the things that happened after he was born.  The weight I still have on me - and how my body has changed were (and still are) the biggest struggles for me.  So many celebrities boast that they were back to pre pregnancy size in just a few weeks.  But what about us normal people who don't have a crew of nannies, chefs, personal trainers, and cleaning crews?  Yeah, it's not going to happen.  And it shouldn't.  But I feel like there's this social pressure to lose the weight you gained during pregnancy quickly.  It's not safe to do that - so why do I feel like I should be fitting back into my jeans already?  I don't think enough people "celebrate" the way things should be.  It's ok that I have a little pouchy belly 3 weeks after I had my baby.  It's ok that I'm still wearing maternity pants and shirts.  It's NOT ok that I spent 20 minutes in the parking lot at Old Navy CRYING in my car because I couldn't fit into size 18 pants, and those were the biggest ones in the store.

Ok - enough about all that.  Onto more important things.

Our days still consist mostly of eating, sleeping and dirty diapers.  I struggle to "sleep when baby sleeps" because I feel like I should be getting things done around the house.  Jackson loves to be held, so even when he is sleeping, it's tough to do anything - productive things OR sleeping - because when you have a baby in your arms, your options are limited!  I'm getting pretty good at doing things with one hand though.  Mike and I have been alternating "night duty".  I have to say, I always thought I appreciated a full nights sleep before Jackson was born, but now, I REALLY appreciate it.  I feel like a whole new person when it's not my turn for changing dirty diapers and feedings at 3 am.

Jackson has had a few visitors since being home, and our next few weeks are filling up with more and more people wanting to meet him.  Last Friday, my Aunt Mary and Uncle Jimmy got to meet him.  Aunt Mary made us the most BEAUTIFUL blanket - I'll have to take a photo but it's beautiful.  THANK YOU AUNT MARY!!  Today, I'll be taking Jackson to meet some friends of my parents who are traveling in the area.  Paige, my Godmother Aunt Marie and my colleages at work will all get to meet Jackson within the next 2 weeks.  He's a busy little boy.  I may need to hire someone to keep track of his busy schedule!

We haven't really had any "stupid parent" moments yet.  I really thought there'd be more of that.  Those stories are far more entertaining than me complaining.

And now, the part I'm sure most of you look forward to most about my posts .... Photos of our little prince!

I need to take more photos when he's awake.  Yes, the sleepy ones are cute, but he's so expressive and makes the funniest faces when he's awake.  

Well, I actually made it through this whole post without interruption!  Jackson is snuggled into his swing right now, snoring up a storm.  I think I'll take advantage of this down time and make some breakfast and get in a shower.  Amazing that it will be done before 9 am!  It's usually a good day if I can shower before noon!  

Until next time .......

Checking In ....

This post started out as a look back at our first week as a family.  Considering we're approaching the two week mark and I haven't gotten it published yet, I'll make a few changes and add to it the best I can...

Well it's already been a week with Jackson!  First of all, I can't believe we aren't calling him Sea Monkey anymore ... although I admit I call him "monkey" sometimes.  Second, I swear every time I look at him I just can't believe he used to be INSIDE my belly and that I actually pushed him out of my body.  I know the mechanics of it all, but looking at him just amazes me that it all really happened.  

He's perfect.  We are so in love with him!  He's a great sleeper too - which he must get from me because I love my sleep.  I actually have to wake him up for each feeding, and he gets pretty cranky.  Not that I blame him, I'd be kinda ticked off if someone was waking me up every 2-3 hours.  

We had a little bit of a scare within the first few days.  We went home from the hospital on Thursday.  Friday morning, we had a doctor's appointment to check his weight.  He only weighed in at 6 lbs.... so he lost 12 oz of his birth weight.  That's *almost* a pound!  I had decided to try breastfeeding from the start.  It wasn't going so well and he was having issues latching.  So, we hired a lactation consultant to come and help us out.  Her name is Katie and she's the best.  She's down to earth and offers really helpful advice.  She came Saturday to work with us and I was feeling a little better.

By Saturday afternoon, Jackson hadn't peed since Friday morning at the doctor's office.  We were concerned and called the pediatrician.  The on call nurse advised us to go to the Emergency Room.  Seriously?  I have a 4 day old baby and he's already going to the hospital?  Long story short, they put him on IV fluids and ran some bloodwork.  They basically told us he was fine.  *phew*!  We got home and yes, he is fine.  He's been peeing and pooping like a champ ever since!  It was terrifying to watch them poke around trying to get blood from him.  He was such a trooper though and didn't scream and cry as much as I thought he would.  What a brave little guy!

So we continued to try and breastfeed.  We had some good days, and some bad days.  Unfortunately we had more bad days than good and I got frustrated.  I made the decision to stop and switch to formula.  I was already supplementing each feeding with 1 oz of formula.  I was crying most of the time, and so was Jackson.  Poor Mike felt helpless and none of us were happy.  We've been strictly on formula for about 5 days now and everyone is happier.  It was a good decision for our family.    

Jackson has already made it out of the house a few times and has visited Target, Babies R Us and Wegmans (a grocery store)!  He's been great to travel with and is just so easy going.  Of course, he's a baby and he does get fussy here and there, but in the grand scheme of things, we are the luckiest parents because he's such a good baby.  I made a trip out with my mom to do some shopping and get a pedicure.  My feet needed some serious attention.  It was nice to get out of the house for a bit, and Pop was left to babysit.  I trust my dad and knew Jackson was in great hands, but I missed him and was happy to get back home and hold him.  I'm already wondering how I'll ever go back to work and leave this beautiful baby in someone elses arms ALL DAY!  

Since being home, we gave Jackson his first bath.  I will admit he was not a big fan of bath time .... which someone pointed out is a little ironic because we've been calling him "sea monkey".  

(yes, I look terrible.  But this is one of the few photos I have of me and Jackson!)

  

We also made a visit to Mike's grandmother - Jackson's GREAT grandmother!  I'm hoping to get a photo of the 4 generations - Great Gram, Buddy, Mike and Jackson.  Not many people ever get to meet their Great Grandparents so I think it will be really nice for Jackson to have a photo like that in the future. 

There's really not much else going on.  My life is all about feeding every 2-3 hours and counting dirty diapers (Not complaining, just pointing out how life's priorities have changed!).  I do make a point to shower every day, and my parents usually come by to visit for a good part of the day.  They really have been great, and I don't know what I would do without them and Mike.  My mom has done more laundry for me than I can even count, and both Mom and Dad have prepared or provided dinner for us almost every night since being home.  Everyone has been so supportive and helpful and I really appreciate it!  I really couldn't do this without them.  

I'm sure you're looking for a photo "fix" ... so here's a few more photos for you.  If you're friends with me on Facebook you've probably seen most or all of these already.  But I know I have a fair amount of readers who are not on Facebook.....

(this one cracks me up every time I look at it!)

Welcome Jackson William Furbush!

The post you've all been waiting for ... and the one I've been dying to write!

Jackson William Furbush

Born Tuesday, July 30th at 1:17 am 

6 lbs  12 oz

Now, the story of how he came to join us!

I had a scheduled doctor's appointment on Monday at 9:15 am.  As you all know, I've been dying for Sea Monkey (who I can't really call Sea Monkey anymore now that he's here) to get out of my belly!  My doctor checked me and basically asked me if I still wanted to be induced.  "Ummmm HELL YEAH!!"  So she asked when and I replied, "How about now?"  I was too excited to hold back.  I couldn't wait to get things started.  So she called down to the hospital and let them know I would be there shortly.  I immediately called Mike and let him know that this was the day, it was FINALLY TIME!  Get out of work and come to the hospital!

My appointment was late starting so I arrived at the hospital around 10:30 am.  They took me to the room where I'd be in labor and where I'd eventually deliver.  After answering 100 questions, I got my first dose of induction medicine.  I forget the name of it - but it's a small pill that they place in your cervix.  It's job is to help you prepare for delivery.  So after waiting 4 hours for it to do it's job, I needed another dose.  I got my second dose around 3:15.  Contractions were getting stronger and longer which was a good sign that the medication was working.  By 4:30 my contractions were 3 minutes apart and I was getting very uncomfortable.  I had to wait it out a little longer.  At this point, my parents were visiting me before we really got things going.  I was up and walking around the room, taking a break from being on all the monitors.  The nurse had just come back in the room to hook me up again.  As I was about to get back in the bed, my water broke!  No turning back now!  It was a very exciting moment.  Even though it felt like I was peeing down my leg, and onto the floor .... in front of a whole bunch of people, it didn't matter.  It was exciting.  It felt like a rite of passage.

Shortly after, I was in a lot more pain.  It's amazing how quickly things change.  I asked if I could get my epidural and they said yes.  Anesthesia arrived and I was very nervous about this part.  Honestly, the worst part was getting the numbing medication.  You have to sit very still and it was so hard to do between contractions.  I only moved a little as he inserted the needle with the numbing medication.  I think at this point I was telling Mike I hated him.  Which we all know is not true!  The Anesthesiologist was great.  He talked me through everything and did the procedure fairly quickly.  Very shortly after he was done, I felt no pain.  None.  Nil.  Zilch.  I was in heaven.  I seriously wanted to hug and kiss whoever invented the epidural.  It was done really well too.  I could feel absolutely no pain, but I still had feeling in my legs.  At one point I knew my socks were all twisted and messed up and made Mike fix them for me.  The nurse got a kick out of this and said in her 30+ years as a labor and delivery nurse, she's never once had someone who could feel that after getting an epidural.

Around 9:00 pm, they started me on Pitocin to get things moving along a little.  We had some issues with Sea Monkey, I mean, Jackson - in that his heart rate was dropping when I had contractions.  This would cause nurses to come running to the room when the little alarm went off.  Part of me felt so bad that I was causing them so much trouble, but I was amazed by how quickly they responded and really took care of us.  I ended up being placed on oxygen - it helped Jackson a little bit.  By 10:00 I was dilated to 5 cm, 90% effaced (cervix was really short, almost gone) and Jackson was at -1 station (how far he was into my pelvis).  By 11:00, I was dilated to 10 and almost ready to push!  They didn't tell me how far down he had moved, but I was feeling increased pressure.  At this point I stopped keeping track of time.  But I know I started to push a little.  It wasn't doing much so they had me stop and wait a little longer.

The room started to fill with nurses, doctors, residents, medical students and a whole lot of equipment.  Things were very busy.  The doctor who would be delivering Jackson was Dr. Jacobson.  I actually know him because I work at the hospital and his office is in the building where I work.  So I see him all the time.  Kind of awkward to be laying in a hospital bed, with my legs in stirrups (not the kind you use when riding a horse) and my legs spread wide for all the world to see my most private areas.  And he takes one look at me and says, "You work here, right?"  Yes.  Yes I do.  At that point I really didn't care that he could see me in all my glory.  I was so happy that Jackson was about to make his appearance nothing else mattered.  When we really got going, I pushed for about 45 minutes.  Jackson's heart rate was still dropping sporadically and they really wanted to get him out.  They talked with me about using the vacuum to help him out.  I really didn't want to do that, but they pretty much insisted it was what was best for both of us.  So I conceeded.  They started to get everything together and along came another contraction and it was time to push.  I'm not sure if the threat of needing the vacuum made me push harder, or if it was just time, but Jackson was born!  I could feel his head come out and then the rest of him followed shortly after.

It felt like an eternity before they held him up for me to see.  When they finally did (which I'm sure was only a few seconds), he was purple and blue and his head was pointy.  I was pepared for all of this - it was one of the most exciting moments to finally see our son!   Mike cut the cord and they placed him on my chest almost immediately.  He was still covered in vernix - it's a white cheesy / soapy substance that protects the baby in the womb.  As you all know, I pretty much insisted since the beginning that they clean him off before giving him to me, but I really didn't care anymore.  I wanted my baby.  And I got him.  Not 2 minutes after he was born and laying on me, he peed on me.  Twice.  And when you're laying down, that's really not fun since it dripped down to my neck.  But I didn't care.  I had my baby!!

The team was still furiously working on me "down there".  I figured I was delivering the placenta and it was all normal.  Until I realized they were still down there.  I asked what was going on.  Seems like I had a pretty decent second degree tear inside my vagina and they were stitching me up.  I kept asking what was going on and they really didn't want to tell me.  I was very distracted by our little Jackson so it didn't bother me too much.  I remember I kept looking at Mike and then at Jackson and I couldn't stop smiling.  It was amazing.

Overall, labor was 14 hours.  (Mike insists that it was 12, but since I started the medication at 11 am Monday and I delivered him around 1 am Tuesday, I count it as 14 hours).  The experience was great and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

The rest of the night was kind of a blur, but shortly after we were moved to the other side of the unit to a new room.  I really wanted / needed to go to the bathroom but I just couldn't.  Everything was swollen and sore and I ended up needing a catheter placed.  The nurse couldn't get it the first time so it took her a second shot to get it right.  I felt a lot of relief after it was inserted, but by the next morning I really wanted it out.  They wouldn't remove it until I had it placed for 12 hours so I had to wait.

We had just a few visitors that morning - Grammy, Pop (my parents) and Buddy (Mike's mom).  They were all so excited to meet their grandson Jackson!

Here's a bunch of photos for you:

Proud Daddy!

Proud Grammy!

Proud Pop!

Proud Buddy!

Proud Mommy!

I've been very busy since delivering, you know, caring for a newborn and all.  But I've still got so much more to tell you.  Jackson is still sleeping but I need to feed him now, so I'll write more again when I can.  Thank you all for following us through this journey.  It's been amazing and we are so lucky to have the most beautiful miracle join our family.