3 Weeks - Jackson and My Belly

Jackson is 3 weeks old today!  Our little peanut is growing and doing very well.  For the most part, he continues to be a great baby.  He has some fussy episodes, but in general he only cries when he's hungry, has a dirty diaper, or when he just wants to be held.  He's getting more and more alert each day and I love it when he looks at us with wide eyes!  He sleeps and eats well, and at our last docotor's appointment he was up to 7 lbs, 2 oz!

It feels like we've had him for so much longer than 3 weeks.  We seem to be adjusting to parenthood well, and aside from the sleepless nights, I think it suits us.  Mike has been a great dad and I think I'm doing alright in my new role as "mommy".

The hardest thing so far for me is adjusting to my new body.  When I was pregnant, it was cute to wear tight shirts and show off my belly.  Now, I just have this flabby pouch and it's certainly not "cute" anymore.  Everyone keeps telling me to relax - I just had a baby.  The weight will come off in time.  It took 9 months to put it on, give yourself at least that time to take it off.  All of these things I know.  It still doesn't change the fact that I'm not happy about it.  I promised my mom I'd let the body image issues I'm having "go".  So Mom, this blog post is the last time I'll talk about it.  But I feel like I need to address it here.

I wasn't under any illusions that when Jackson was born I'd immediately go back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I knew my body would be different, I just didn't realize how different it would be.  Most people don't talk about your recovery post pregnancy.  Once you have the baby, it becomes all about BABY ... but what about mom?  I'm not saying I want to put Jackson second to myself - he always comes first in my world now.  But I think - especially for first time moms - that more people need to talk about the recovery process that will happen with your body.  I just wasn't prepared for some of the things that happened after he was born.  The weight I still have on me - and how my body has changed were (and still are) the biggest struggles for me.  So many celebrities boast that they were back to pre pregnancy size in just a few weeks.  But what about us normal people who don't have a crew of nannies, chefs, personal trainers, and cleaning crews?  Yeah, it's not going to happen.  And it shouldn't.  But I feel like there's this social pressure to lose the weight you gained during pregnancy quickly.  It's not safe to do that - so why do I feel like I should be fitting back into my jeans already?  I don't think enough people "celebrate" the way things should be.  It's ok that I have a little pouchy belly 3 weeks after I had my baby.  It's ok that I'm still wearing maternity pants and shirts.  It's NOT ok that I spent 20 minutes in the parking lot at Old Navy CRYING in my car because I couldn't fit into size 18 pants, and those were the biggest ones in the store.

Ok - enough about all that.  Onto more important things.

Our days still consist mostly of eating, sleeping and dirty diapers.  I struggle to "sleep when baby sleeps" because I feel like I should be getting things done around the house.  Jackson loves to be held, so even when he is sleeping, it's tough to do anything - productive things OR sleeping - because when you have a baby in your arms, your options are limited!  I'm getting pretty good at doing things with one hand though.  Mike and I have been alternating "night duty".  I have to say, I always thought I appreciated a full nights sleep before Jackson was born, but now, I REALLY appreciate it.  I feel like a whole new person when it's not my turn for changing dirty diapers and feedings at 3 am.

Jackson has had a few visitors since being home, and our next few weeks are filling up with more and more people wanting to meet him.  Last Friday, my Aunt Mary and Uncle Jimmy got to meet him.  Aunt Mary made us the most BEAUTIFUL blanket - I'll have to take a photo but it's beautiful.  THANK YOU AUNT MARY!!  Today, I'll be taking Jackson to meet some friends of my parents who are traveling in the area.  Paige, my Godmother Aunt Marie and my colleages at work will all get to meet Jackson within the next 2 weeks.  He's a busy little boy.  I may need to hire someone to keep track of his busy schedule!

We haven't really had any "stupid parent" moments yet.  I really thought there'd be more of that.  Those stories are far more entertaining than me complaining.

And now, the part I'm sure most of you look forward to most about my posts .... Photos of our little prince!

I need to take more photos when he's awake.  Yes, the sleepy ones are cute, but he's so expressive and makes the funniest faces when he's awake.  

Well, I actually made it through this whole post without interruption!  Jackson is snuggled into his swing right now, snoring up a storm.  I think I'll take advantage of this down time and make some breakfast and get in a shower.  Amazing that it will be done before 9 am!  It's usually a good day if I can shower before noon!  

Until next time .......

Checking In ....

This post started out as a look back at our first week as a family.  Considering we're approaching the two week mark and I haven't gotten it published yet, I'll make a few changes and add to it the best I can...

Well it's already been a week with Jackson!  First of all, I can't believe we aren't calling him Sea Monkey anymore ... although I admit I call him "monkey" sometimes.  Second, I swear every time I look at him I just can't believe he used to be INSIDE my belly and that I actually pushed him out of my body.  I know the mechanics of it all, but looking at him just amazes me that it all really happened.  

He's perfect.  We are so in love with him!  He's a great sleeper too - which he must get from me because I love my sleep.  I actually have to wake him up for each feeding, and he gets pretty cranky.  Not that I blame him, I'd be kinda ticked off if someone was waking me up every 2-3 hours.  

We had a little bit of a scare within the first few days.  We went home from the hospital on Thursday.  Friday morning, we had a doctor's appointment to check his weight.  He only weighed in at 6 lbs.... so he lost 12 oz of his birth weight.  That's *almost* a pound!  I had decided to try breastfeeding from the start.  It wasn't going so well and he was having issues latching.  So, we hired a lactation consultant to come and help us out.  Her name is Katie and she's the best.  She's down to earth and offers really helpful advice.  She came Saturday to work with us and I was feeling a little better.

By Saturday afternoon, Jackson hadn't peed since Friday morning at the doctor's office.  We were concerned and called the pediatrician.  The on call nurse advised us to go to the Emergency Room.  Seriously?  I have a 4 day old baby and he's already going to the hospital?  Long story short, they put him on IV fluids and ran some bloodwork.  They basically told us he was fine.  *phew*!  We got home and yes, he is fine.  He's been peeing and pooping like a champ ever since!  It was terrifying to watch them poke around trying to get blood from him.  He was such a trooper though and didn't scream and cry as much as I thought he would.  What a brave little guy!

So we continued to try and breastfeed.  We had some good days, and some bad days.  Unfortunately we had more bad days than good and I got frustrated.  I made the decision to stop and switch to formula.  I was already supplementing each feeding with 1 oz of formula.  I was crying most of the time, and so was Jackson.  Poor Mike felt helpless and none of us were happy.  We've been strictly on formula for about 5 days now and everyone is happier.  It was a good decision for our family.    

Jackson has already made it out of the house a few times and has visited Target, Babies R Us and Wegmans (a grocery store)!  He's been great to travel with and is just so easy going.  Of course, he's a baby and he does get fussy here and there, but in the grand scheme of things, we are the luckiest parents because he's such a good baby.  I made a trip out with my mom to do some shopping and get a pedicure.  My feet needed some serious attention.  It was nice to get out of the house for a bit, and Pop was left to babysit.  I trust my dad and knew Jackson was in great hands, but I missed him and was happy to get back home and hold him.  I'm already wondering how I'll ever go back to work and leave this beautiful baby in someone elses arms ALL DAY!  

Since being home, we gave Jackson his first bath.  I will admit he was not a big fan of bath time .... which someone pointed out is a little ironic because we've been calling him "sea monkey".  

(yes, I look terrible.  But this is one of the few photos I have of me and Jackson!)

  

We also made a visit to Mike's grandmother - Jackson's GREAT grandmother!  I'm hoping to get a photo of the 4 generations - Great Gram, Buddy, Mike and Jackson.  Not many people ever get to meet their Great Grandparents so I think it will be really nice for Jackson to have a photo like that in the future. 

There's really not much else going on.  My life is all about feeding every 2-3 hours and counting dirty diapers (Not complaining, just pointing out how life's priorities have changed!).  I do make a point to shower every day, and my parents usually come by to visit for a good part of the day.  They really have been great, and I don't know what I would do without them and Mike.  My mom has done more laundry for me than I can even count, and both Mom and Dad have prepared or provided dinner for us almost every night since being home.  Everyone has been so supportive and helpful and I really appreciate it!  I really couldn't do this without them.  

I'm sure you're looking for a photo "fix" ... so here's a few more photos for you.  If you're friends with me on Facebook you've probably seen most or all of these already.  But I know I have a fair amount of readers who are not on Facebook.....

(this one cracks me up every time I look at it!)

Welcome Jackson William Furbush!

The post you've all been waiting for ... and the one I've been dying to write!

Jackson William Furbush

Born Tuesday, July 30th at 1:17 am 

6 lbs  12 oz

Now, the story of how he came to join us!

I had a scheduled doctor's appointment on Monday at 9:15 am.  As you all know, I've been dying for Sea Monkey (who I can't really call Sea Monkey anymore now that he's here) to get out of my belly!  My doctor checked me and basically asked me if I still wanted to be induced.  "Ummmm HELL YEAH!!"  So she asked when and I replied, "How about now?"  I was too excited to hold back.  I couldn't wait to get things started.  So she called down to the hospital and let them know I would be there shortly.  I immediately called Mike and let him know that this was the day, it was FINALLY TIME!  Get out of work and come to the hospital!

My appointment was late starting so I arrived at the hospital around 10:30 am.  They took me to the room where I'd be in labor and where I'd eventually deliver.  After answering 100 questions, I got my first dose of induction medicine.  I forget the name of it - but it's a small pill that they place in your cervix.  It's job is to help you prepare for delivery.  So after waiting 4 hours for it to do it's job, I needed another dose.  I got my second dose around 3:15.  Contractions were getting stronger and longer which was a good sign that the medication was working.  By 4:30 my contractions were 3 minutes apart and I was getting very uncomfortable.  I had to wait it out a little longer.  At this point, my parents were visiting me before we really got things going.  I was up and walking around the room, taking a break from being on all the monitors.  The nurse had just come back in the room to hook me up again.  As I was about to get back in the bed, my water broke!  No turning back now!  It was a very exciting moment.  Even though it felt like I was peeing down my leg, and onto the floor .... in front of a whole bunch of people, it didn't matter.  It was exciting.  It felt like a rite of passage.

Shortly after, I was in a lot more pain.  It's amazing how quickly things change.  I asked if I could get my epidural and they said yes.  Anesthesia arrived and I was very nervous about this part.  Honestly, the worst part was getting the numbing medication.  You have to sit very still and it was so hard to do between contractions.  I only moved a little as he inserted the needle with the numbing medication.  I think at this point I was telling Mike I hated him.  Which we all know is not true!  The Anesthesiologist was great.  He talked me through everything and did the procedure fairly quickly.  Very shortly after he was done, I felt no pain.  None.  Nil.  Zilch.  I was in heaven.  I seriously wanted to hug and kiss whoever invented the epidural.  It was done really well too.  I could feel absolutely no pain, but I still had feeling in my legs.  At one point I knew my socks were all twisted and messed up and made Mike fix them for me.  The nurse got a kick out of this and said in her 30+ years as a labor and delivery nurse, she's never once had someone who could feel that after getting an epidural.

Around 9:00 pm, they started me on Pitocin to get things moving along a little.  We had some issues with Sea Monkey, I mean, Jackson - in that his heart rate was dropping when I had contractions.  This would cause nurses to come running to the room when the little alarm went off.  Part of me felt so bad that I was causing them so much trouble, but I was amazed by how quickly they responded and really took care of us.  I ended up being placed on oxygen - it helped Jackson a little bit.  By 10:00 I was dilated to 5 cm, 90% effaced (cervix was really short, almost gone) and Jackson was at -1 station (how far he was into my pelvis).  By 11:00, I was dilated to 10 and almost ready to push!  They didn't tell me how far down he had moved, but I was feeling increased pressure.  At this point I stopped keeping track of time.  But I know I started to push a little.  It wasn't doing much so they had me stop and wait a little longer.

The room started to fill with nurses, doctors, residents, medical students and a whole lot of equipment.  Things were very busy.  The doctor who would be delivering Jackson was Dr. Jacobson.  I actually know him because I work at the hospital and his office is in the building where I work.  So I see him all the time.  Kind of awkward to be laying in a hospital bed, with my legs in stirrups (not the kind you use when riding a horse) and my legs spread wide for all the world to see my most private areas.  And he takes one look at me and says, "You work here, right?"  Yes.  Yes I do.  At that point I really didn't care that he could see me in all my glory.  I was so happy that Jackson was about to make his appearance nothing else mattered.  When we really got going, I pushed for about 45 minutes.  Jackson's heart rate was still dropping sporadically and they really wanted to get him out.  They talked with me about using the vacuum to help him out.  I really didn't want to do that, but they pretty much insisted it was what was best for both of us.  So I conceeded.  They started to get everything together and along came another contraction and it was time to push.  I'm not sure if the threat of needing the vacuum made me push harder, or if it was just time, but Jackson was born!  I could feel his head come out and then the rest of him followed shortly after.

It felt like an eternity before they held him up for me to see.  When they finally did (which I'm sure was only a few seconds), he was purple and blue and his head was pointy.  I was pepared for all of this - it was one of the most exciting moments to finally see our son!   Mike cut the cord and they placed him on my chest almost immediately.  He was still covered in vernix - it's a white cheesy / soapy substance that protects the baby in the womb.  As you all know, I pretty much insisted since the beginning that they clean him off before giving him to me, but I really didn't care anymore.  I wanted my baby.  And I got him.  Not 2 minutes after he was born and laying on me, he peed on me.  Twice.  And when you're laying down, that's really not fun since it dripped down to my neck.  But I didn't care.  I had my baby!!

The team was still furiously working on me "down there".  I figured I was delivering the placenta and it was all normal.  Until I realized they were still down there.  I asked what was going on.  Seems like I had a pretty decent second degree tear inside my vagina and they were stitching me up.  I kept asking what was going on and they really didn't want to tell me.  I was very distracted by our little Jackson so it didn't bother me too much.  I remember I kept looking at Mike and then at Jackson and I couldn't stop smiling.  It was amazing.

Overall, labor was 14 hours.  (Mike insists that it was 12, but since I started the medication at 11 am Monday and I delivered him around 1 am Tuesday, I count it as 14 hours).  The experience was great and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

The rest of the night was kind of a blur, but shortly after we were moved to the other side of the unit to a new room.  I really wanted / needed to go to the bathroom but I just couldn't.  Everything was swollen and sore and I ended up needing a catheter placed.  The nurse couldn't get it the first time so it took her a second shot to get it right.  I felt a lot of relief after it was inserted, but by the next morning I really wanted it out.  They wouldn't remove it until I had it placed for 12 hours so I had to wait.

We had just a few visitors that morning - Grammy, Pop (my parents) and Buddy (Mike's mom).  They were all so excited to meet their grandson Jackson!

Here's a bunch of photos for you:

Proud Daddy!

Proud Grammy!

Proud Pop!

Proud Buddy!

Proud Mommy!

I've been very busy since delivering, you know, caring for a newborn and all.  But I've still got so much more to tell you.  Jackson is still sleeping but I need to feed him now, so I'll write more again when I can.  Thank you all for following us through this journey.  It's been amazing and we are so lucky to have the most beautiful miracle join our family.

False Labor

I had never heard of false labor until recently.  I thought you were either in labor or not.  Yeah, I was wrong.  There's a lot to think about when you're waiting for your Sea Monkey to arrive.  You've got Braxton Hicks contractions, real labor and now I come to find out, this nasty thing called "false labor".  Basically, false labor is when you think it's the real thing and then come to find out it's not.  Take yesterday as an example ....

Starting at 9:30 in the morning, I was feeling contractions.  Nothing crazy but I could tell my body was gearing up for something.  They came pretty regularly every hour and I was starting to get a little excited.  Around 7:00 at night, they got closer together - about every 40 minutes or so.  I got even more excited because they got closer together.  But of course, as soon as I went to bed .... BAM!  They stopped.  Nothing.  Not even a tiny little twinge of a contraction.  What the heck?  It's really not fair.  Especially since this has been happening to me for the past several days. 

I talked to my doctor about it and she smiled and sympathized with me.  I told her how everyone keeps telling me that "you'll know when it's real".  But will I?  I've thought it was "real" so many times already ... just to get a little excited and then shot down when everything comes to a screeching halt.  It's very frustrating.  But my doctor assured me that yes, I'll just "know" when it's the real thing.  She said if I was trying to figure out if it was real or not, it's not real. 

So I guess I need to be patient.  (Not one of the qualities I'd use to describe myself) ... Just like I don't know how to relax, patience is something I struggle with.  What in the heck is Sea Monkey waiting for?  Everything's ready for him.  His room is all set up, we have literally everything we need for him, his clothes are washed, the car seat is installed, my hospital bag is packed, Grammy & Pop (my parents) are in town .... We are all waiting for you little guy!  I feel like I'm all dressed up for a party but have nowhere to go.  But we all continue to wait.

Even Mike is getting a little impatient.  When I was at my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, I texted him from the waiting room to see if he had any questions for the doctor.  His reply was, "Ask her what's taking so long."  LOL!  Yeah, like she's gonna know why Sea Monkey refuses to be born.  Any serious questions honey?  No ....

As usual, the nurse took me into the exam room - took my weight, and blood pressure.  She never told me what the blood pressure was because it's always perfect (of course, I mean look whose blood pressure you're taking!)  She asked if everything was going ok or if I had concerns.  I told her I just had the normal complaints but nothing was really "wrong".  A few minutes (more like 15, but I really don't mind because I love my doctor) Dr. Mahoney came in.  Here's how our conversation went:

She took one look at me and said, "What's wrong?" 
Me: "I'm still pregnant".
Dr. Mahoney: "Yeah, but you look more upset than usual."
Me:  "I'm still pregnant". 
Dr. Mahoney: (laughed)
Me:  "How can we change that?"
Dr. Mahoney: (laughed again)

Basically she still can't do much for me until I'm 39 weeks (which happens Sunday the 28th, but whose counting?).  She said she'd do an exam and check to see if I was dilated. YAY! I'm dilated 1 centimeter (the visual comparison most commonly used is a cheerio).  While she was doing the exam, she also "stripped my membranes".  Sounds fun, right?  Basically what she did was separate the bag of water from my uterus.  Supposedly it releases a hormone that helps labor get started.  Yeah, so far it's done nothing for me but give me false hope that something was happening.  We talked a lot - Basically what came out of the appointment was that if Sea Monkey isn't born before next Monday, we'll check dilation again and discuss induction. 

If I've made a decent amount of progress in the dilation department, she will induce me.  If I haven't, she said we can still move forward with induction, but that I have to get all these other drugs first that will soften / shorten the cervix and help me dilate.  It could take a few days.  I'm thinking sitting around the hospital for a few days waiting for my cervix to do something doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun.  I think I'll pass on that part.

So we continue to wait .... and wait .... I'm trying to not get too excited about contractions when I feel them, but it's hard.  I want Sea Monkey to come out!  Not only because I want my body back, but we are all anxious to meet the little guy. 

We never know what each day will bring .... and each day I hope "this is the day" he will be born.  So I'll get back to work and try to distract myself and not watch the clock waiting to feel a contraction.  Hopefully (probably just wishful thinking) this is my last post before we get the party started.  If not, I'll be updating you after my doctor's appointment on Monday morning. 

The waiting game continues

The waiting game continues .... Sea Monkey is turning out to be a stubborn little bugger.  Hmmmm I wonder where he gets that from?  It can't possibly be *me*! 

It feels like I've tried just about everything to get this little guy to want to be born, and nothing seems to be working.  Don't you dare tell me "he'll come when he's ready"....

Saturday I went for an acupuncture treatment.  It was definitely interesting but I don't think it did anything.  I'm not even sure how to describe the experience, but I'll try.  I arrived on time, and waited.  Almost 15 minutes.  I'm fat, it was 1,000 degrees out and I'm very impatient.  So the waiting thing kind of irked me, especially since I was the only one there.  When she finally took me, we sat in her office and she asked me a bunch of questions about the pregnancy and my due date.  Then, she took me to the room where she'd perform the acupuncture.  There's a small table - like a massage table and thankfully a little stool to help me get up there.  It wasn't pretty, but I was able to finally plop myself on the table and lay on my side.  She proceeded to put 2 needles in my right arm / hand, one in my left, one on my forehead and one on each of my ankles.  These were supposed to "relax" me.  Well, if you know me even just a tiny bit, you know the word "relax" is not really in my vocabulary.  I tried, I really did.  But I also have some strange lady poking me with needles.  Kind of hard to relax!  Although I have to admit the needles didn't really hurt.  There were a few that pinched on the way in, but once they were there, I didn't feel anything.  I digress .... I laid on that table for about 10 minutes with the needles in trying to relax.  She came back in, took them out and then had me move positions to lay on my stomach.  Thankfully her table has a section that you can pop out so your big huge pregnant belly has somewhere to go.  I'm not sure how long it took, but she ended up putting 33 needles in my back!  Again, it didn't really hurt and I'm really glad I couldn't see it or I think I may have freaked out.  She told me what each needle did and why she was placing it there.  When she was done, I laid there for a while ... I guess to let the needles do their magic.  She returned and took them all out and I was on my way.  (I probably should have written about this Saturday when I got home because I'm sure I'm missing some great stuff).  It's now Tuesday and I honestly don't think it did anything.  Maybe I need more "treatments" - she said I could come back on Wednesday or Thursday if I wanted to ... but I don't think I want to. 

For the rest of the weekend, I tried to eat some spicy food, and I really counted on the full moon last night to do something for me.  FAIL, FAIL, FAIL.  Although Sunday & Monday I did have some pretty good contractions.  But as soon as I went to bed, they stopped.  I know I'm only 38 weeks, 2 days .... but I just want to get this show on the road!

Yesterday I washed all of Sea Monkey's laundry.  It's folded and put away now ... with the exception of the crib sheets.  I just threw them into the crib because I have no idea how to fold the darn things. 

My parents have made their way "north" from Florida.  They're currently camped out (not literally - could you imagine my mom in a tent?!) in the Berkshires with my Aunt Mary & Uncle Jimmy.  It's nice to know they're only about 2 hours away in case our stubborn little Sea Monkey decides he wants to make landfall.  Tomorrow, they can check into their furnished apartment which is just about 40 minutes away.  Maybe Sea Monkey is waiting until all things are in place?  Who knows what this little guy has on his mind. 

Speaking of Sea Monkey - he's been pretty quiet for the most part.  I'm very curious as to how big he is at this point.  Not so much because I'm scared to deliver him, but I'm wondering how squished he really is in there.  His movements hurt at this point so I'm not really complaining that he's been quiet, although I do sometimes still get nervous something might be wrong.  A good poke or prod usually wakes him up and I feel a little better. 

I've got 4 days left of work (unless Sea Monkey decides to make an appearance) and I have just a few things to finish up.  Of course, even though I've been asking people for WEEKS if they need anything, I'm getting flooded with last minute report requests. 

Well that's pretty much it.  All my efforts to make Sea Monkey appear have failed and I suppose I'm forced to continue to wait it out.  I keep getting the "he will come when he's ready" comment from almost everyone I talk to.  And yes, it continues to be the most annoying thing you can say to me at this point.

Eggplant Parm!

What does eggplant parm have to do with Sea Monkey?  Well right now, EVERYTHING!  There's a restaurant in Georgia that claims their eggplant parm recipe can put pregnant women into labor within 48 hours of eating the dish.  (Thank you Kathy for telling me about this!)  Of course, I got the recipe from their website (www.scalinis.com) and Mike very graciously cooked it for me tonight.  The recipe was VERY involved - Mike even had to make the sauce!  I took photos throughout the whole process so naturally I have to share them with all of you.

(WARNING: photo overload!)

Ingredients:  There was a ton of stuff to put in this recipe!  I had to take 3 pictures to fit them all in!

Prepping the eggplant to be cooked .... 

Cooking the eggplant!  Yes, I'm a total geek and took photos of everything.

Homemade sauce!  It came out a little watery and definitely could have been thicker, but it was still tasty!

Almost ready for the oven!

Ready to eat!

And here we go! (GOD I look awful....)

We just finished eating and the waiting game begins.  If I go into labor by 9:00 pm on Tuesday night, I will give credit to the eggplant!  I can't believe how hard Mike worked on this.  He is far too good to me - especially with all the complaining and moaning and groaning I've been doing.  My husband is a saint!

In other news .... well, honestly not much.  Aside from remaining in pain and not being able to sleep, things are pretty quiet.  I think Mike is walking on eggshells around me - and I totally don't blame him one bit.  Other than that, it's pretty much a waiting game at this point.  We are totally ready - the last thing we needed to get done (carseat installation inspected) got done Saturday night.  Just one minor adjustment and it's installed perfectly and ready for Sea Monkey!

So now we wait.  Officially, there's exactly 3 weeks until my due date.  I've got a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and I'm hoping she will check to see if I'm dilated at all.  Not because it's a pleasant experience, but I'm curious to see if anything is going on down there.  If it is, we'll likely induce the week of July 29th .... so I guess I'm just looking for confirmation that we could be looking forward to a July birthday instead of August.  Although I know my dad is secretly hoping for Sea Monkey to arrive on 8/1 (my grandmother's birthday).

And so we wait ....

Thoughts at 36 Weeks

I've been a relatively bad blogger lately.  Unfortunately, things are not very exciting at the moment, and I've been terrible company.  I'm at the point (36 weeks, 5 days) where I cannot wait to be done with pregnancy.  Why anyone would do this more than once is beyond anything I can comprehend.  And that woman on TV who has 19 kids?  She needs to be committed.

Sea Monkey is still groovin' around in there.  Although lately, I feel him move less and less.  Probably because he's putting on some chub (he's the size of a watermelon!) and has less room to move around.  However, when I do feel him move, it typically hurts and results with me yelping in pain and grabbing my belly. 

Things I'm tired of hearing:
Myself moaning and groaning
I'm sure Mike is sick of this too.  Why does it make you feel better to make noises when you're in pain?  Unfortunately, this happens to me a lot - pretty much whenever I move.  It's annoying.

"He will come when he's ready".  
Well GET ready, dammit.  I can only take so much of this.  And yes, I know he will be born when he's ready.  That's the natural progression of things.  But can't I want him to come now?  

"You look so uncomfortable." 
Yes, I do.  And yes, I am uncomfortable.  You pointing that out to me makes everything so much better. (typically when I'm out shopping or doing errands, at least 1 person will say this to me.)

"How are you feeling?"
In theory, this is a very nice questions.  But when at least 50 people a day ask it, and you feel like shit, it gets annoying.  And do people really want to know the truth?  No.  But they ask anyway.  So since they do, I pretty much make them feel sorry they've asked by telling them the truth ....

So ... how am I feeling?

Tired - I don't sleep anymore.  At least, not much.  Maybe an hour here or an hour there.  And yes, I know I'll never sleep again like I used to.  That's another thing I'm sick of hearing.  Just because my sleep patterns will be different when I'm up with a newborn doesn't make the fact I'm not sleeping now suck any less.  Why am I up all the time?  Well first of all, there's the fact that I get up to pee at LEAST 5-6 times a night.  Thank you Sea Monkey for having your head directly on top of my bladder.  When I'm not up to pee, I'm trying to get comfortable, which at this point, has become an impossible task.  I'm a back sleeper, at least I used to be.  I definitely can't sleep on my back anymore because #1, I can't breathe when I lay down because my damn belly, I mean, my dear child, has so much weight on my lungs I feel like I'm going to suffocate.  #2, it decreases the blood flow to Sea Monkey and it's bad for him.  Ok, so I'll sleep on my sides, no problem.  But wait!  My hips and pelvis are so screwed up right now, I can't get comfortable on my sides either.  The left is worse than the right - when I lay on my left side, I almost immediately have the worse pain you can imagine in my hip.  Ok, so I turn over to the right.  Usually that gets me through for a little while, but you can only sleep on one side for so long before your shoulder / hip begin to ache.  So .... that leaves what?  Standing up?  If only I were a cow .....

Oh wait, I am.   At least I feel like one.  While I've stopped gaining weight (at least the week between my last 2 appointments I didn't gain anything), my pants and shirts seem to be getting smaller.  I can barely squeeze into my work clothes anymore and seriously feel like a sausage most days.  I can no longer wear my work shoes and am now sporting sneakers with dress pants.  I have 4 shirts that still cover my belly, and I wear one each day at work.  I'm sick of wearing the same 4 things each week.  I can't possibly get any bigger, can I?  And then I do .... and so do my stretch marks.  LOVELY.

So I'm not sleeping, I'm feeling fat, and I'm in a TON of pain.  Jeez, people make it look so easy to be pregnant.  They're all liars.  It's not easy - it hurts.  It hurts my back, my feet, my pelvis, my hips.  I swear when I try to walk, or get dressed or get in / out of the bathtub, I feel like my legs are being pulled apart like a wishbone and I'm just going to snap!  My feet hurt, even when I've done nothing but sit around all day.

This is why I haven't written lately.  I'm a mess.  I'm horribly unhappy with 22 days until my official due date, and 16 days until the week my doctor says she will induce me (maybe).  I know, Sea Monkey will come when he's ready. But I want him to be ready now!  I feel useless - I can hardly do anything anymore, and poor Mike must want to go on a long vacation until Sea Monkey is born.  I can't imagine how he deals with me on a day to day basis.  I don't even like being near myself .... He's a saint. 

So, on Sunday, July 14th, I'll officially be 37 weeks.  That means I can start trying all the old wives tales to induce labor naturally.  I've done a bit of reading about these things and there's all sorts of things people suggest from having sex to drinking castor oil.  Neither of which I'm in the mood for right now.  The methods that I've read about that actually get good reviews & outcomes are Acupressure & Acupuncture.  I've found an acupuncturist that will see me to try and induce labor - I just need to make an appointment.  I've played around with acupressure - there's a few pressure points you can stimulate that supposedly starts contractions.  The only one I can reach is on my hand, and the few times I've pressed it, nothing happens.  My whole pregnancy I've been convinced Sea Monkey would come around 2 weeks early.  That means he should be making his appearance around July 21st - which is entirely still possible because that's when we have the next full moon.  Apparently, during the full moon, changes in gravitational pull can cause women to go into labor (if they're already close to their due date).  I was also advised by several people that there's an eggplant parm recipe that "supposedly" helps you induce labor.  We found the recipe online at www.scalinis.com (Thanks Kathy!).  Mike is planning on making it for me on Sunday.  I don't even like eggplant, but at this point, I'm willing to try anything.

Right now, it's just a waiting game.  I'm desperately hoping Sea Monkey decides very soon that he wants to have his birthday.  I talk to him every day and ask if he wants to come out and meet his mommy & daddy .... sometimes he'll give me a little kick and other times he just ignores me.  I KNOW!  He'll come when he's ready ....




Mike and I are making final preparations for his arrival - we pretty much have everything we need.  Thanks to very generous parents, family, friends, co-workers, and a bit of our own shopping, we really don't need anything else before he gets here.  I've hired a dog walker to be on call to take care of our fur-babies so we don't need to worry about them, car seat bases have been installed (just need to have them inspected), and I only really need to wash his clothes / sheets / blankets .... and I'm not even sure if that really needs to be done.  I mean he's not going to be hurt if I don't get around to it.  Although I'm planning on getting it done this week. 

So that's about it ... (if you've even stuck around to this point) ... Signing off and anxiously awaiting "D-Day".

Dreams

I'd love to go to a dream analyst.  Lately, I've been having some crazy dreams!

Here's just a few of the latest strange dreams:

One night, I dreamt that I had a friend who had a car that could go to outer space.  We were gearing up for a trip and just before we left, I was sitting down.  All of a sudden, Sea Monkey's face started to protrude out of my stomach.  Not like it was popping out, but more like his face was stretching my skin so I could see the outline of his entire face.  Not sure exactly what it means but it was VERY STRANGE.  Even in the dream I thought it was odd.

(This one is probably the funniest)  I dreamt that I gave birth to Sea Monkey, and I was feeding him at night.  But I wasn't breastfeeding, it was from a bottle and there was no formula, it was only water.   Then I was in an elevator with my doctor and we were going to the nursery where all the babies were kept at the hospital to see Sea Monkey.  When they lifted him up in the window to show me so I could take a picture through the glass, Sea Monkey was a dog.  Yup, I dreamt that I gave birth to a puppy.  It looked like a golden retriever puppy.  I already have 2 dogs .... I want a baby to come out of me, not a puppy!

This last one was the scariest -
Again I dreamt that I had just given birth to Sea Monkey.  They put him on my chest and wiped him down, but then immediately the nurses tried to pull him away from me.  They kept telling me that they needed to take him to the nursery to perform some tests.  But I knew that wasn't right because in our childbirth education classes, they told us they can pretty much do everything they need to do right there in the room.  So I was fighting the nurses telling them I wanted to keep him in my room and they couldn't take him.  But they ended up winning, took him away from me and went down the hall towards the nursery.  I was so convinced they were going to steal him from me or switch him with another baby.  I ran down the hall after them!  We ended up in the nursery but then the dream switched to something totally different.  Maybe this one means that my maternal instinct is kicking in, and that I'm already scared to let him out of my sight.  At first I was thinking that while I'm in the hospital I may have him sleep in the nursery for one night - but now I swear he will never leave my side.  If the dream is a premonition I don't want to take any chances!


In other news:
*  It's July.  My due date is 8/4, but Sea Monkey might be born THIS MONTH if we go forward with induction at 39 weeks.  It's very exciting!!
*  I'm increasingly more and more uncomfortable as time goes on - and I'm more emotional too.  Yesterday I cried over preparing meals ahead of time to store in the freezer.  Yes, something totally rational to cry about.
*  Sea Monkey continues to be a busy, busy boy.  He is still heads down and I can feel him flip from side to side.  He kicks a lot less but rolls around A LOT.  Sometimes it hurts.
*  I start weekly doctor appointments this week - every Tuesday.  Hopefully all continues to go well and be fairly uneventful.

In non Sea Monkey related news:
*  We are updating the kitchen - today the guys are coming to do the template for the granite, so I'm working from home until they are done.  I'm actually hoping they are late and it takes a long time so I don't have to go into the office.
*  Next week the granite will be installed - still need to figure out how to unhook the kitchen sink and dishwasher, because I'm not hiring a plumber for something we can probably figure out ourselves.
*  TWO WEEKS from now, we will have air conditioning again!  I'm very excited about this one.  It's been incredibly hot and humid and the fan only does so much.

Well, that's about it for now ...... Can't wait for Sea Monkey's arrival!!

I Love My Doctor!

Yesterday I had my 34 week appointment.  It's the first time in a long time I've seen *my* doctor since she's been out sick a lot with her own pregnancy symptoms.  I'm really glad I got to see her because I really do think she's an awesome OB.  She hates being pregnant just as much as I do!  When she asked me how I was feeling, and I responded, "Miserable", she rattled through a list of symptoms asking if I had any of them.  All I kept saying was "Yuuuuup".  I felt like that guy on Storage Wars.

Anyway, she decided to prescribe me physical therapy - she said it wasn't going to hurt so it was worth a try.  She also said to try and get to the pool as much as possible.  The buoyancy of the water should make me feel better.  Do you hear that Mike?  That means you need to escort your very uncomfortable wife to the pool whenever she wants!  Doctor's orders!!

I had one question for her .... which I already knew the answer to, but I wouldn't feel good if I didn't ask.  I asked her how early we can get this little guy out of me.  Would she electively induce me early?   She said if she could, she would, but that she really can't do anything before 39 weeks.  I knew she couldn't.  Working at the hospital in the Quality Department, one of the measures we track is "Elective Delivery >= 37 or < 39 Weeks gestation".  There are very few ... because it's really not recommended.  BUT the light at the end of the tunnel is that she said she would induce me at 39 weeks if I wanted her to, and that we can discuss the pros / cons / risks at a future appointment.  She told me that if I'm not dilated by 39 weeks and she induces me, that my labor could be 3 - 4 days.  Um, no thank you.  So it continues to be a waiting game.

She also told me that she will not stop me from trying any of the old wives tales and natural ways to make yourself go into labor after 37 weeks.  My research begins!! People say that these methods don't really work, but as long as it's safe for Sea Monkey, I'm going to try everything.

 Here I am at 34 weeks.  These photos get less and less flattering each week.  I look back to my 9 and 10 week photos and think how skinny I was .... and "skinny" was never a term I'd EVER use to describe myself.  But look at me now.  I know, it's all for a good reason and I have a baby inside me, but good GOD I'm huge.  I even find now that my arms move differently because my boobs have gotten so big.  I'm almost afraid of how big they will be when my milk comes in.  SIDENOTE: (Mom, while I'm thinking of it, I think the lady at the store was wrong - not sure those nursing bras will hold the girls when they get bigger).  Anyway - My belly is so big now that I actually have to lift it to clean underneath.  Probably too much information but honestly, I wish someone told me this stuff before I got pregnant.  Nobody talks about the dirty secrets.  Pants are now officially the worse invention ever, and I have seriously considered joining a nudist colony .... my birthday suit is pretty much the only thing I'm comfortable wearing these days.  Not that it's a pretty sight ... but clothes are spun from the devil's yarn! 


 What else? 
*  Sea Monkey's room is ready to go.  We have pretty much all the necessary items .... and got 2 HUGE boxes of clothes and other items from a cousin of mine.  (THANK YOU GISELLE & PADDY!)  Sea Monkey is going to be one stylin' little guy! 

*  I've been very productive on my days off - Seems like taking a day off isn't really a day off though.  Each Monday my schedule is FULL of things to get done and I usually don't get through the whole list.  We have some work being done in the kitchen the next few weeks and the HVAC is being replaced.  YAY we will finally have air conditioning again! 

*  We have completed the Childbirth Education classes, Newborn Care class and Breastfeeding class.  The last Childbirth Ed class we got a tour of Labor & Delivery and the Post Partum unit.  The delivery rooms are HUGE and the post partum rooms not so much.  Although I don't think we are expecting a room full of visitors all at once so it isn't a big deal.

That's about it for now.  Hoping to try and stay comfortable the next few weeks ....  

No Shortage of Excitement

Just as the title of this post says, there's been no shortage of excitement lately.  Yesterday, I took an unexpected trip to Labor & Delivery.  From the time I had gotten up, my back was really hurting me.  I figured I slept on it in a funny position because lately it's been hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in at night.  So at first, I didn't think much of my back pain.  But when I started to have cramping (you know, like just before your time of the month), I got a little worried.  Of course, I googled my symptoms and of course, Google basically told me the worst case scenario - preterm labor.  (why do we Google things when we know it's basically going to tell us we're going to die?)  Anyway .... I figured I'd call the doctor just in case.  They advised me to head directly to Labor & Delivery at the hospital.  It's a good thing I WORK at the hospital so it was a short walk over to the unit.  When I arrived, they immediately hooked me up to monitors to do a Non Stress Test (NST).  Sea Monkey's an active little guy so I wasn't too worried that we wouldn't see him moving.  And I was right - they got their first 2 movements within 7 minutes.  GOOD BOY Sea Monkey!  While I'm being hooked up to the monitors, a Resident and Student came into the room and asked me 1,000 questions.  I'm not lying, I swear they left no stone unturned.  I wasn't expecting the quiz but I suppose they need to cover all their bases.  The doctor wanted to do an FFN test - which tests to see if you're in preterm labor.  What they do is stick a huge q-tip inside, swab around and send it to the lab. Yeah, that was fun.  But not as fun as when she checked my cervix.  It was the first time it was checked, and I really wish it could be the last.... but I know I'm dreaming on that one.  I'll spare you the details, but she lied when she said I'd feel "a little pressure".  It was a LOT of pressure and I wanted to kick her in the face.  I know, she's just doing her job, but it's still not a pleasant experience.  Ok so all the tests are done, they had me sit on the NST monitors for another 20 minutes.  It was nice to just relax a bit, listen to Sea Monkey's heart beat and feel him move around.  The nurse told me he was doing great and passed the NST with flying colors.  Lab work came back - FFN was negative - which means I was NOT in preterm labor.  I was slightly dialated. I also had to pee in a cup (always an interesting experience when you can't see down there, and YES, I peed on my hand).  Everything was looking good.  There was no medical explanation for my pain - I was told this was probably my "new normal".  Well if Sea Monkey is doing fine, I guess I can deal with some back pain and cramping.  Just a few short weeks to go.  I did find out that anytime after 34 weeks, they will not stop your labor.  Obviously they want you to go as long as you can, but if I were to go into labor anytime after Sunday, they're not going to stop Sea Monkey from making an appearance.

What a day .... oh wait, it wasn't over!  Last night, we were back at the hospital for the breastfeeding class. 

As you all know, Mike was not thrilled that I made him attend class with me.  And it was made worse because the Bruins were playing in the middle of the class.  Anyway, you all know I was concerned about how we were going to remain serious for a 2 hour class focused solely on boobs.  It wasn't too bad.  I just decided I wouldn't look at Mike.  Pretending he wasn't there made it so much easier to not see a smirk or smile that I know would immediately push me over the top and force me into uncontrollable laughter.  How was the class?  Eh .... it was ok.  The woman who taught it was older, and a little out of the times.  But you can tell she's really passionate about exclusively breastfeeding - because she talked about it several times and made you feel like formula and pumping were tools of the devil.  Class was totally disorganized - she jumped from one subject to another and threw out questions to us like, "How often should you feed your baby?" and "How do you know he's eating enough?" Ummmm, I don't know lady, I'm a first time mom who has never breastfed.  That's why I paid $40 to take your class .... so you could give me the answers to these kinds of questions.  It was a little frustrating.  She had a bean bag that was shaped like a breast.  It was made of fabric and the first layer folded over so you could see "inside" the breast and look at all the milk ducts.  She LOVED her little bean bag boob.  I wish I took a picture of it.  She also had a fake baby.  In order to show us good positions to hold the baby and get a good start at breastfeeding, she would hold the bean bag on her chest and hold the baby in her other hand.  This was fine, it was a good way to show us how to position Sea Monkey for feeding.  But she was slightly obsessed with the bean bag boob and kept putting it against herself ..... for ... the ... whole .... class.  AWKWARD.  She did cover a lot of the basics, but she also was kind of "old school" and couldn't answer all our questions.  Someone asked about drinking alcohol and breastfeeding.  She said you could have 1 drink and then wait 2-3 hours before feeding and that all the alcohol should be out of your system.  So of course I ask, "Well if you have 2 drinks, should you wait 4-6 hours?"  She couldn't answer me and just told me don't have more than one.  Yeah, right lady.  Another girl asked about test strips they sell to check the amount of alcohol in your breast milk.  They're pretty common - I see them in the store all the time.  She had never heard of them and just kept telling us to not have more than 1 drink.  The class wasn't a total waste of $40, but I think I'll do a good bit of reading on my own.  Definitely not our favorite class - and even after it was over, Mike still insisted he didn't need to be there. 

But Wait! The excitement doesn't stop there.  We had our last ultrasound this morning!!

This was a scheduled appointment to check position and weight, and to be sure all his organs had developed the way they should.  The doctor said Sea Monkey got a PERFECT SCORE!  He's "heads down" and hopefully getting ready to drop!  We confirmed again that he is in fact still a boy.  They guess that he weighs just under 5 lbs at this point.  If we stay on the same track, he should be between 7 and 8 lbs when he's born.  Which is totally normal and I shouldn't have a problem trying for vaginal delivery.  *phew*!  I really don't want to be cut open.  Not that the thought of pushing an 8 lb person out of my body is as delightful as daiquiris on the beach, but it sure beats having someone cut my stomach open and push my organs all around to pull out a baby.  The ultrasound tech printed 4 photos for us.  This one here was the best one.  It's definitely not as cool as the 3D photos we got a few weeks ago, but you can still make out his face.  I love his chubby cheeks!     


The excitement officially ends there ..... for now.  It seems like June has been the craziest month!  This weekend we have a cookout to go to with Mike's family, our 1 year wedding anniversary on Sunday and the last Childbirth Education class on Monday.  After that, things should slow down a bit.  Actually, I really need them to because I'm pretty exhausted.  Can't believe July is around the corner, and Sea Monkey could join us at any time.  Very exciting!  Hopefully we can relax a bit and enjoy some quiet time during July.

SURPRISE!

 In case you don't know, I work for 2 different hospitals.  Since I cut down my hours from 40 to 32, I spend 2 days at each hospital.  Yesterday, my co-workers at one of the hospitals threw me a surprise baby shower!  I was SHOCKED!  I really, really mean it.  Nobody is ever able to surprise me, but they did a great job! 


In the morning, one of my co-workers emailed me and asked if I could come to a meeting at noon to discuss some reports that a doctor needed.  Nothing was on my calendar, so sure, I could be there.  I also invited the new part time person that will be covering my work while I'm on maternity leave - figuring he'd need to be in the loop in case anything came up after I was gone.  So the three of us walk down to the conference room for the meeting.  They open the door and I saw one of my other co-workers - who had no reason to be at the meeting.  Ok, strange.  Then as I walk through the door I see the ENTIRE department there!  They all yelled "Surprise!" and of course took this wonderful photo of me:

 

Honestly, nobody ever surprises me!  So I was really just floored! It took me a few minutes to come down from the "high" you get when people really pull off something like this.  It was so nice of them to throw me the shower!  They ordered a TON of food, which was delicious.  But I didn't have too much because I had eaten the lunch I brought with me before my "meeting".  I was able to take some of the leftovers home and Mike and I will have them for dinner tonight.  But on top of lunch, they had cake and gifts too! 

    

The cake was DELICIOUS!  Of course even though I was pretty full, I was able to eat the cake.  Yes, I'm a fatty.  Sea Monkey insisted that we have some though, so I really blame him.  Here's a roundup of the gifts we got! 

   

                       

           

     

It was such a great time, and I'm really lucky to work with such nice people.  What a great way to start off the week!

In other news .....

*  Sea Monkey is the size of a pineapple.

*  We have our last ultrasound tomorrow.  I'm hoping the tech can give us a "guesstimate" of how big he is. 

*  The countdown is down to 6 weeks, 4 days .... of course we all know by now that I'm praying for an early arrival. 

*  I've started to snore.  Which is pretty ironic because snoring bothers me so much.  I've actually woken myself up a few times from snoring.  Crossing my fingers it goes away when Sea Monkey is born. 

*   Tonight is breastfeeding class for 2 hours .... I'm hoping Mike and I can keep straight faces and be serious, which unfortunately did not happen in the Childbirth Education class Monday night.  I just can't seem to take the breathing exercises seriously and was unable to hold back my snickers and laughter at the end of class.  Hoping we can keep it together for 2 hours of "boobs". 

*  I have 21 days of work left ... CRAZY!!!  When you look at it like that, maternity leave is right around the corner.