It feels like we've had him for so much longer than 3 weeks. We seem to be adjusting to parenthood well, and aside from the sleepless nights, I think it suits us. Mike has been a great dad and I think I'm doing alright in my new role as "mommy".
The hardest thing so far for me is adjusting to my new body. When I was pregnant, it was cute to wear tight shirts and show off my belly. Now, I just have this flabby pouch and it's certainly not "cute" anymore. Everyone keeps telling me to relax - I just had a baby. The weight will come off in time. It took 9 months to put it on, give yourself at least that time to take it off. All of these things I know. It still doesn't change the fact that I'm not happy about it. I promised my mom I'd let the body image issues I'm having "go". So Mom, this blog post is the last time I'll talk about it. But I feel like I need to address it here.
I wasn't under any illusions that when Jackson was born I'd immediately go back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I knew my body would be different, I just didn't realize how different it would be. Most people don't talk about your recovery post pregnancy. Once you have the baby, it becomes all about BABY ... but what about mom? I'm not saying I want to put Jackson second to myself - he always comes first in my world now. But I think - especially for first time moms - that more people need to talk about the recovery process that will happen with your body. I just wasn't prepared for some of the things that happened after he was born. The weight I still have on me - and how my body has changed were (and still are) the biggest struggles for me. So many celebrities boast that they were back to pre pregnancy size in just a few weeks. But what about us normal people who don't have a crew of nannies, chefs, personal trainers, and cleaning crews? Yeah, it's not going to happen. And it shouldn't. But I feel like there's this social pressure to lose the weight you gained during pregnancy quickly. It's not safe to do that - so why do I feel like I should be fitting back into my jeans already? I don't think enough people "celebrate" the way things should be. It's ok that I have a little pouchy belly 3 weeks after I had my baby. It's ok that I'm still wearing maternity pants and shirts. It's NOT ok that I spent 20 minutes in the parking lot at Old Navy CRYING in my car because I couldn't fit into size 18 pants, and those were the biggest ones in the store.
Ok - enough about all that. Onto more important things.
Our days still consist mostly of eating, sleeping and dirty diapers. I struggle to "sleep when baby sleeps" because I feel like I should be getting things done around the house. Jackson loves to be held, so even when he is sleeping, it's tough to do anything - productive things OR sleeping - because when you have a baby in your arms, your options are limited! I'm getting pretty good at doing things with one hand though. Mike and I have been alternating "night duty". I have to say, I always thought I appreciated a full nights sleep before Jackson was born, but now, I REALLY appreciate it. I feel like a whole new person when it's not my turn for changing dirty diapers and feedings at 3 am.
Jackson has had a few visitors since being home, and our next few weeks are filling up with more and more people wanting to meet him. Last Friday, my Aunt Mary and Uncle Jimmy got to meet him. Aunt Mary made us the most BEAUTIFUL blanket - I'll have to take a photo but it's beautiful. THANK YOU AUNT MARY!! Today, I'll be taking Jackson to meet some friends of my parents who are traveling in the area. Paige, my Godmother Aunt Marie and my colleages at work will all get to meet Jackson within the next 2 weeks. He's a busy little boy. I may need to hire someone to keep track of his busy schedule!
We haven't really had any "stupid parent" moments yet. I really thought there'd be more of that. Those stories are far more entertaining than me complaining.
And now, the part I'm sure most of you look forward to most about my posts .... Photos of our little prince!
I need to take more photos when he's awake. Yes, the sleepy ones are cute, but he's so expressive and makes the funniest faces when he's awake.
Well, I actually made it through this whole post without interruption! Jackson is snuggled into his swing right now, snoring up a storm. I think I'll take advantage of this down time and make some breakfast and get in a shower. Amazing that it will be done before 9 am! It's usually a good day if I can shower before noon!
Until next time .......
Kudo's for being honest about the struggle with the post-baby body. Most of us (if not all) experience it...and too many don't talk about it (and I strongly suspect don't admit/lie about it to make themselves feel better) But I've vented about that before so you know my thoughts... LOL. We'll have to chat some more later. Perhaps over some wine. ;) I will say, some time and putting things in perpective made it easier for me.
ReplyDeleteNow get in here with that adorable baby!!
I love the latest pics - Jackson just gets cuter and cuter! You're right. There should be more info for women on what's it like after the baby. It's been a long time but I still remember trying to deal with post baby body image. I think you should write a blog for "normal" women on post pregnancy recovery. I love your blog and I think if you blogged about your experiences after Jackson was born it would help a lot of new moms.
ReplyDeleteLove you! Joyce